Rambling After My Kink Sessions
In this video I have just left set after my second day shooting BDSM content. I talk a little about kink and a little about numerology. But I only wrote additionally about the kinky part. An explanation for my love of the number 5 and 69 will have to wait for another day.
The first introduction to BDSM I had was at the age of 19 when I was hired as a performer for the site sexandsubmission.com for the company Kink.com. My experience lead me to continue accepting fetish work and in the process learn a lot about BDSM first hand. I did a 4 day shoot called The Training of O, twice. It's a full slave training protocol designed to test your absolute limits and levels of submission. I loved it. I've worked on almost every site in the Kink universe. I've been the main sex even during community parties at The Kink armory in San Francisco (may it rest in peace). I’ve been beaten (consentually and safely) and worn my bruises with pride, planning my shooting schedule accordingly. One director I’m particularly fond of is John Paul The Pope as he is known on the Kink sites or JP as I know him. Quite a name to live up to, and he does. Since our first meeting there has been a sense of trust and respect, danger and excitement. He has seen me progress as a sub and an actress and literally watched me grow up. I call him Daddy affectionately because I know I am taken care of by him, and because it's wrong and naughty which I feel safe to be with him. We have an honest open dialogue and "working" with JP for his sites, hogtied.com, fucking machines, or devicebondage.com is always a life changing experience. In a good way!
I've be gifted the opportunity to learn from and perform with some of the most amazing dom(mes) while at Kink. And those connections with people in the fetish community have lead me to personal kinky adventures of my own. But it's been hard breaking into a new fetish realm here in Switzerland. The thing I found is that most places have an organization or community page or some kind of scene happening and that's the fastest ways to find like minded people. Kinky people are a specific breed and there's a code of conduct so once the momentary discomfort of meeting new people subsides you can actually find new friends and play partners to connect with and enjoy. I'm also on a dating site specifically for kinky people, but so far no in person meetings just yet.
One of the first things I learned in the Kink universe was about consent. Each scene you list off your hard NO limits. For me these are usually cattleprod/electricity, no hard face slapping, no clips on my pussy, and if I have work soon after no lasting marks. Everything else on the list I consented to and even listed from a scale of 1-5 how much I like that activity. In real life I have never actually used a piece of paper to write out a written contract, although if my play level increases in the future this may be very helpful. Setting your personal boundaries and learning your partner's is the most liberating feeling. Respecting those boundaries builds trust and love and that creates hotter play and allows you to go to more vulnerable spaces. Like with JP, I am equally afraid and happy when we begin a scene, this feeling of subservience and respect washes over me, all my past training coming forward in my brain. Never do I feel afraid in a way that feels like panic or discomfort, but its a feeling of, where are we going to go today? How far will we push each other? What kind of head space are we both in? I love to play along that line of panic and and control in the bedroom and outside of it. I love submitting to dominance and playing with someone who knows the rules to the game of power and submission. Consent is the first rule of the game.